This Friday, September 26, marks the end of my first year living in Illinois. I'd like to take stock of my life after one year in this new place.
1. The first thing that comes to my mind is how I have moved so many times already! As a military brat, I'm used to moving to new places, adjusting, getting settled, and then picking up to relocate somewhere else. I've lived in the suburbs, urban, and now with Illinois-rural areas. I was a little taken aback by how rural southern Illinois is. I remember driving around in my new town and getting lost among all the cornfields (everything looks the same!). In the morning, I'd wake up and look out the window and see deer and bunny rabbits in my backyard. Coming from Seattle, this was quite the culture shock!
2. The most important accomplishments of the year involve my husband, BeeBee (He doesn't actually have any B's in his name)! We got married and now we're expecting BeeBee Jr., due in November. I seriously can't believe we've been together for a year. September 28th marks our first wedding anniversary. I am so, so happy with him. And I'm thrilled at the thought that I'm the mother of his child. We're in the process of getting our nursery ready for BeeBee Jr., and we're both super excited. Even BeeBee's son, (my stepson), is looking forward to the new arrival.
3. School-wise, this year has been kind of a hit-and-miss. I was studying at a prestigious university and it looked like I would have to take a year off when I moved here(no way I'm paying the non-resident tuition rate!). Luckily, you only have to be a resident for 3 months to study at the local community college. So off I went. It's pretty cool that I get to experience both a university setting and the 2-year college. Here, the professors actually remember my name and my classroom doesn't look like a movie theater. It took absolutely
forever for all of my credits to transfer because I had taken college-level exams during high school in addition to my university classes. So until I knew what credits transferred where, my adviser recommended I lay off the science and math classes. That only left enough for me to go part-time, but that was okay with me. Then I got pregnant right in the middle of the semester and boy, that totally messed me up! I had a terrible case of morning sickness and missed so much class. I ended up not completing the semester. Fortunately, my teachers worked out a new end date for me, so I won't lose credit for the classes. Still, this pregnancy has been demanding of me, so I've been wanting to take online classes for the new term. But due to poor planning on my part, I may or may not be in school for this new term. All the classes I want or are eligible to take are closed and overloaded. The whole thing makes me want to bang my head into a wall, because it's my fault I'm not registered for any classes. *wah* It's probably a good thing this happened though because BeeBee Jr. is supposed to make his appearance right in the middle of fall term anyways. The best thing that happened school-wise, was that I DECLARED MY MAJOR! Whoo, that feels good to type. I am no longer
undeclared. I have a major and that major is...biology!..yes, I'm a science nerd.
4. I could write about how things are with my family back in Washington, but that would be a whole 'nother blog in itself. Basically, my parents don't mention me to their friends or family and if I do come up, they say, "Oh, she's living her own life now". That' it. No mention of how I'm married, pregnant, or even living in Illinois. To me, that sounds like they are ashamed of my new life. It has been months since I have talked to my father on the phone. Every conversation with my mother is awfully strained and the things she says aggravate me to no end. Neither of them are happy with my pregnancy and no one is coming to visit me when BeeBee Jr. is born. They recently took a 2-week vacation to California and then later, tell me, "Oh, we're not coming to Illinois in November." Thanks a lot, family! So much for familial support and love. I realize I sound very bitter, but I think I have every right to be. Possibly the most hurtful thing of all is how the relationship between me and my sister has dwindled into nothing. I thought we were close, but she insisted that we never were. Hmm, how come I thought we were close then? Most of my MySpace comments/messages go unanswered and she never wants to talk to me on the phone. It hurts to see her put our brother, our cousins, her boyfriend, and even Tom, the creator of MySpace on her Top Friends, but there's no spot for me. I'm crying as I write this because I miss her so much, but she doesn't seem to care.
So yeah, this year has been the craziest of my life. I've done so much, I'm looking back and asking myself, "Did I really do all that?". I've lost some and gained some. But the most important thing that's happened this year was I grew up. I didn't just get older, I actually grew up. And I'm really liking the woman I'm turning out to be. I must be doing something right.
Comments (2)
That last statement is the most important thing - "I'm really liking the woman I'm turning out to be" Making the choices that are right for you can be hard - but that is more important than trying to make other people happy. I hope your next year is an amazing one!
Sadly, I'm in very much the same boat, family-wise, as you are :( It's not fun to be looked at like the life course you have chosen to not be as legitimate as some others would be.
But, I say, you are lucky to live in Illinois! I would love to live in the rural Midwest! Both my husband and I come from a farming background and would love to have a spread of our own... unfortunately, farming in our area is far too expensive to get into, unless one gets into it without having inherited the farm from Dad.